This is sort of a tangent overview of cutting in general, why many people cut, some alternatives for cutters and ways to stop, and a few more personal comments. And yes, I know this is long--sorry. It needs to be said.
Cutting is becoming more and more common, or at least publicly acknowledged. It also seems to have been adopted as a cultural "norm" within several subcultures, namely groups (however inaccurately) termed "emo" or "goth" by the general populace.
First and foremost, though, cutting is not always an attempt at suicide. Granted, it can be, and is usually interpreted that way by psychiatrists because they have to err on the side of caution. However, there is a rather cliché quote that gets tossed around, which has some basis in truth--"Johnny Razor walked across the street to get attention, but he walked down the street when he wanted to get somewhere."
Why People Cut
People cut for many different reasons, but generally it starts as an impulse. Very few people honestly sit down and think about cutting before doing it the first time. More often, there is something that is so overwhelming and the emotions simply build up and build up until, before one knows it, they're cutting themselves as an attempt to release the emotions. With the physical pain and blood, etc, comes a sense of control and often sort of a euphoric daze, a feeling of "being somewhere else". The emotions build, and soon, the person cuts again, and then again, trying to reach for that release and sense of control. Fairly quickly, it becomes a habit, and then sometimes to the point of an addiction, where all the person can think about is that feeling.
Of course, that is the "popular" explanation for cutting. It isnt always the case, though--some people start to cut because someone they look up to cuts, and they want to be like them, or because they dont feel like they belong and that if they cut, they will find a place with other people who cut. Other people start to cut not because of some social or emotional pressure, but out of simple boredom and curiosity. Obviously, anyone with a blood fetish is much more prone to start cutting.
When people first start cutting, most of the time they dont consciously think of it as being a bad thing, but simply as a coping mechanism. Usually, though, they will know on some level that they shouldnt do it, and will most often try to hide the cuts or find some other way to explain them away ("oh, I must have scraped it on something" or "the cat scratched me" ). The fascination with the physical pain and control and release of emotions does strange things to a cutter's mind, and they will start to like how the cuts look, often "freshening up" the cuts, often with the mentality that it is something that they and only they know about and have complete control over. This, in turn, leads to only more severe scarring that has to be hidden. And, even if someone stops cutting, those scars will be with them for the rest of their lives.
Stopping Cutting
Most habitual and long-term cutters will directly tell people that cutting is a bad thing to do. Does that keep them from doing it? Not always--it is such a habit and addiction that often they end up cutting again, sometimes almost subconsciously. They often will encourage other people to never even try it, because they know the cycle that they can get caught in. That doesnt mean that people who cut are doomed to always keep cutting--there are ways to stop.
One of the first things with any addiction or bad habit that you have is to admit to yourself that you are doing this and that it is bad, and you need to stop. It sounds like a simple step. It's not.
The next thing that helps many people is to tell someone else about it. Keep in mind when you pick who you tell that many people, such as teachers, coaches, school counselors, public officials (cops, firefighters, etc), some health care providers, etc are required by law to report self-harming behaviors. Basically, this means that if you decide to confide in your study-hall teacher that you're cutting, you very well could end up in a psychiatric ward in a hospital for a few days to a couple of weeks, and people like your parents will be told about it. If you are scared that you are going to seriously injure yourself, then this is a wonderful way to get help. If you've just started cutting because you're bored and want to stop, it might not be the best option in the world. Also, dont think that just because you are over 18, you cant be committed to the hospital. In most states in the US, and I would assume also in some other places around the world, you can be held for anywhere from 24 hours to a week against your will if you are considered a danger to yourself. Also, some places cutting is legally considered an attempted suicide, with can be illegal (yes, I know it sounds stupid--it's illegal to try to kill yourself--but in places, that's the law). So, basically, tell someone you trust, and pick that person wisely.
Through talking with someone, you can usually figure out why you're cutting, be it overwhelming emotional stress, boredom, low self-esteem, whatever. Once you know what makes you want to cut, it's easier to recognize that and when you start feeling that way, consciously back away from wanting to cut and the situation itself, if possible.
There are also quite a few tricks and ideas that can help break the habit of cutting. One is wearing a rubber band on your wrist and when you feel like cutting, snapping the band against your skin instead. It still brings the physical pain, and is likely to leave some welts if you do it hard enough, but at least it doesnt leave permanent scars and the welts heal much faster. Slowly, you can try to use the rubber band less and less. Another, mostly for those who are fascinated with how the cuts and blood look, is to keep a red marker handy. It probably sounds somewhat insane, but often drawing red lines on your arm can distract you long enough to keep yourself from cutting. The principle behind this is that it keeps the majority of the senses of cutting without actually doing it, like a smoker trying to stop smoking by using empty pens instead. Repetitive motion is ingrained into the brain, and it can take a long time to break it. A third thing to try, and one that seems quite obvious, is to get rid of all of the things that you cut with. Knives, razor blades, safety pins, sharp scissors, etc. If you dont have it around, you cant use it. Go buy an electric razor instead of using ones that have blades. Use little kids' "safety" scissors that are too dull to cut skin. Everything and anything that you can think of.
Most importantly, know that you arent alone. Many people cut, and many people have stopped cutting. Once you do stop, it doesnt mean that you wont ever want to again, but you have the power over your actions and dont have to give in to the impulse. If you slide back a little and end up cutting again, just start over. Eventually, it'll get easier not to.
A Few Personal Notes
In case anyone is wondering through all of this why I seem to be on a soap box and to be preaching about this, when I'm sort of the neighborhood "Daddy" who doesnt do bad things...I have been, and therefore technically am, a cutter. I fell more into the category of utter boredom and a fascination of blood. To be somewhat stereotypical, I am a Sang and a blood fetishist--of course I've cut. Yes, I try not to make a habit of it, and yes, I have some scars from it. Personal experience has taught me to be that much more careful about what I do, and to be more careful how I interact with donors, as well as to respect them all the more. And because of what I have been through, I am that much more likely to try to convince other people to either never start cutting or to stop if they already do. This is also an invitation of an open door to anyone who does cut and want support in quitting.
~Isealdor~
